Salvation

He can look at the grey sky and call it blue.

He would wipe away a tear and say it was just an infected wound healing whilst staring through me for hours, telling me he could read my soul.

His view on the ground we walk makes me feel like floating and maybe I saw the moon rise in his eyes.

Mine just froze over.

The day I found him, I lost myself.

Not to him, but to myself. Just like before.

His warmth can’t reach me.

This salvation has imprisoned me.

I watch from afar as he lifts the mist over the lake in which I’ve drowned my doubt. But it’s too deep for him to cross.

I made it that way.

Those who dare drown but he’s the first to build a bridge.

I control the monsters that hide beneath, but I can’t stop them from dragging him below. I can’t turn my back again as I watch a wounded solider give up, leaving half a heart behind. Ravaged by the beasts I use to guard my heart.

Your foes are my friends.

But you are the only company I wish to keep.

So why can’t I just walk around the edge to meet you, or clear the water I turned so black.

As the auburn leaves fall, they take my doubts with them, but I am still. And I wait.

Willing myself to tread them into the ground. 

I am not in control.

So I stay.

Waiting for the release I hide from myself.